Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
