It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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