We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
