just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
