I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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