Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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