he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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