I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
