I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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