Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize