one word: firstdatebathroomanal
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
