Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
