Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize