i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
