Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
