I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
