I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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