I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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