Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
