Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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