It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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