like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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