i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
