We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
