is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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