Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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