I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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