I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
