Kiss
Puke
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
