VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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