After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
