Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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