Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
