Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
