My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
