Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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