question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
