I feel great
I just peed on a car
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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