plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
