oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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