who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
420 ftw
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
