I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
