I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
