Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
