my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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