i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think your dad took our porno
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
