dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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