It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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