i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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