even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
