Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
