therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
