Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
