I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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