You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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