tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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